Monday, May 7, 2007

Hear ye, hear ye!

http://www.sandbach.gov.uk/images/Town%20Crier.jpg

FANTASY ALERT!!! Courtesy of offical Chicosphere town crier Basil Thaddiwacker, Matt Chico will have two starts this week, as he pitches tonight vs. the Brewers (you may never have heard of this team from Milwaukee- they have been largely irrelevant since the heyday of Cecil Cooper, though rumors persist that they once turned four double plays in one game in 1992) and likely on Saturday night vs. Florida. Fantasy managers, now is a good time to start Senor Chico, as he should be able to stifle the Pat Listach-less Brewers, and has shown consistent improvement against the Marlins. To wit, let's analyze his progression as he learns the nuances of the Marlins.

April 4- 4 IP, 8 H, 6 ER, 3 HR, o BB, 3 K. A very impressive debut in which he willed his Nationals team to victory.

April 21- 4.2 IP, 6 H, 5 ER, 1 HR, 7 BB, 6 K.

Yeah, that's right Florida. YOU'VE BEEN FIGURED OUT! Matt Chico went all Sherlock Holmes® on you. You got PLAYED.



Prediction:

Tonight vs. Brewers: 8 IP, 2 H (one will come when he is distracted by cheese, the other will come when Bernie the Brewer tries to kiss him), 0 ER, 6 HR (all hit by Matt Chico), 0 BB, 15 K. He'll likely want to take the 9th off in order to get a head start on drinking Milwaukee's Best. Plus, their manager is named Ned Yost and was a former taxidermist after his terrible playing career. Arguably the clumsiest taxidermist/manager in big league history as well.

MATT CHICO.

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