Wednesday, April 18, 2007


ben franklin tried to invent a potion that makes your farts smell better

I would like to use this opportunity to, from the grave, thank Washington Nationals manager Manuel Actor for not allowing his ace pitcher Matt Chico to denegrate my hometown Philadelphia Phillies during their upcoming visit to RFK Stadium. He surely would have hurled apples well and struck-out many Philadelphians.

It has been a miserable season for my Philadelphians thus far. Ryan Howard has forgotten how to swing. Their second base-bagman is named Chase. Jamie Moyer is older than me. Boston fans have even taken our position as the world's biggest dickheads. Shit, we can't even cheer for Sal Fasano. 2007 sucks.

So thank you, Mr. Acter. Your act of kindness towards the last-place Philadelphia Philadelphianos is not lost on this zombie founding father.

Ben Franklin was never President, but he did invent the jump rope. He died in 1962. He appears occasionally as a guest blogger for the Chicosphere.

1 comment:

TP said...

Rumor is Ben runs a 4.4 40.