Monday, August 6, 2007

What else is new?

Another ho-hum outing for Matt Chico, throwing 101 pitches and not getting hurt, winning the game, but getting another no decision. Also not surprising, Matt Chico recorded his first ever major league RBI, the first of possibly tens in his sure to be stellar major league career.

Incredibly, Matt Chico also fooled St. Louis manager/baseball strategy virtuoso Tony LaRussa with a devastating array of pitches that appeared to be balls, but actually were strikes. Perhaps Mr. LaRussa was busy being drunk, or sleeping in the dugout, or abusing animals to realize that Matt Chico has an unparalleled mastery of the strike zone. His ineffective arguing led to his ejection from the sporting contest. LaRussa, your buffoonery amazes me. You couldn't smooth a silk sheet if you had a hot date with a babe.

As my esteemed co-blogger Matt B pointed out, Matt Chico will not face Barry Bonds as he attempts to set the major league home run record this week. I blame this on the cowardice of Barry Bonds, as he easily could have played for the Cardinals or the Diamondbacks and tested his mettle against durable, dominant southpaw pitching, but instead opted to try at all costs to avoid Matt Chico. Pussy.

Assuming Mr. Bonds does indeed hit a ball into the masses of gays that will populate AT&T Park this week, we'd like to use this space to venture a guess as to which Nats pitcher will serve up 756. All signs here point to the evil, tratiorous Saul Rivera, now that Levale Speigner is no longer with the squad. If not, then my best guess is Tim Redding. Actually it could be anyone, as the non-Matt Chico pitching contingent is decidedly subpar, except for John Lannan- the hardest pitcher in the National League East.

No comments: